Quid pro quo

"Because the time and energy of queers and women (and members of all oppressed minorities) is extra precious, because we have to spend a certain proportion of it, all the time, being ready to defend ourselves, our most basic right to exist; figuring out how safe we are in every situation; worrying just for a split second every time we mention our girlfriends or someone addresses us as if we were straight and we have to decide how to respond; wondering whether those kids at the back of the bus going mumblemumblemumble GAY mumblemumblemumble GAY AHAHAHAHAHA GAY are just being oh-so-hip-and-young-and-Zoe-Williams-esque****** or whether they’re going to, you know, verbally abuse us, beat us up, kill us. Politeness, neutrality, academic conventions, in that situation don’t make it easier, they make it harder, they add an extra layer of work for us. " https://nowandrome.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/you-just-kind-of-wasted-my-precious-time/